In all your getting...get understanding!

Proverbs 4: 4-7 (New American Standard Bible) Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. 6"Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you. 7"The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding.

This blog is stemming from some theological questions that I have been asking both myself and the Lord for some time now. I graduated from Trinity International University in May of 2008. All through college, I never received full clarification on certain doctrinal issues. I know now that was because the answers had to come from my own understanding of God's Word and what He had to say. I was taught from many different theological backgrounds, which I loved! But, of course, these individuals were instructed to teach the Word with out any "strings attached." YEAH RIGHT! I did not take their perspectives personally, nor did I feel violated or swayed to understand it "this way." But, as I get older, and hopefully wiser, God is beginning to show me things in a different light.

When I met my husband, I quickly realized that we were raised on opposite ends of the spectrum. One thing we did have in common, though, was that we were saved and we both loved Jesus with all of our hearts. Looking back now, I marvel at the sovereignty of God and how what appeared to be a set back was only a launching pad for the work that was about to take place in my life and in my husband's.

Hold on. I am going somewhere, I promise.

My husband is very theologically-minded, very reformed, to the point, that he would say he is "Calvinist" to an extent. UGH! Bothered me, GREATLY. Of course, I know what he meant and I knew that he was still a Christian. He just "sided" with a certain set of beliefs. I respect that. He isn't your average Christian who just walks around professing to be one; he really has a hold on the deeper things of God's Word. So, when we met, me being a- "Charismatic-Armenian" and he being a "Reformed-Calvinist", it made for a lot of interesting discussions to say the least. But, out of all those discussions and challenges it has brought me to where I am today and I am sure my husband would say the same.

The biggest issue an Armenian and Calvinist would debate is Free Will. Over time, my mindset has always been "FREE-WILL," ALL the way. Well, God began to really challenge me, along with my husband. This week was an emotional week to say the least. For those of you who know my story, you then know that my mother was in prison for five years. During that time, I chose to stay home and look after my two younger brothers. Those years of babysitting were about to become my reality on a daily basis, for the next five years or so. I was now going to assist my step-father in raising a 10 year old and a 13 year old. Mind you, I was19 and ready to leave for college. Not so. But that was OK. I felt "privileged" in a way. I was filling in the "gap." Although, I did not replace my mom ( I did not desire to do so), it was time for me to be the BIG SISTER. It was not easy and a lot occurred in the first year my mom was away. A LOT.

Getting closer to my point.

I grew up in a "torn" family. My parents divorced when I was 3, I think. I grew up with step-parents and half-brothers, which was fine. I love them all dearly. Do I agree with the choices they have made, NO--which leads me to my point. Us, "free will" people, will argue up and down, that we have a choice in the matter. You know, the choice of salvation. I would even argue it, imagine that. My argument: If God was so loving and he sent Jesus to die for people then how can your theory of election hold true? I think about John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." The part that says, "whoever believes in him..." it sounds like we have a choice in the matter, right?If you read down to John 3:19-20 it says, 'This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20) Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will NOT come into the light for fear his deeds will be exposed." This one verse can completely dispute and throw out the theory that we choose Jesus. WE DON'T. We were born into sin and as a result we are evil. It takes the prompting and leading of the Holy Spirit to penetrate to the very depths of our soul to change us. Evil does not come out during the day time, it comes out in the night. Why? Because it does not want to expose its filth or wickedness.

Following me?

Well, as I am now an "outsider" looking in when it comes to my family, my theology has changed. When I look at my family and the choices they currently are making I can't help to think, how in the world did I come to a place (since I was 12) loving Jesus and working in ministry? How did I come out of all that "stuff" and become somewhat "normal"? Well, the truth is, God chose me, He set me apart. I should have fallen off the "band-wagon" along time ago. If you have ever endured trials then I am sure you can relate.
Part of me rejoices, while the other part of me mourns. I love every single one of my family members and it pains me to think that they are so entangled in their own sin that they might never see the Light. Read the verses above again. There is no one who professes to love Jesus, who has Him in their hearts and then begins living a lifestyle that would not back their beliefs. It can't happen. The Holy Spirit does not allow nor does He "entertain" evil. That is why a Christian can not be possessed by a demon, but he can be oppressed.

I want to be careful about what I am conveying without sounding judgemental but the Word says it in Matthew 7:16, "By their fruit you will recognize them..."

Going back to this week being emotional and heavy... My husband and I were outside grilling on our patio when we saw some disturbing stuff on one of my family members' facebook page. I am not friends with this family member on facebook, but I have access to view their page because it is not completely restricted from me. Tears began to swell up in my eyes. My husband was there to bring comfort and to remind me of God's Word. Part of me got angry because this person professed to be a Christian but yet was living a lifestyle that completely contradicted God's Word. In fact, God condemns this sort of action and this person knows it. "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will NOT come into the light for fear his deeds will be exposed." Which tells me there has got to be a supernatural drawing of purity by someone who has always been and always will be pure. The Light. The Savior. The Redeemer. Jesus!

I often would ponder why I never had a "solid" relationship with certain family members, especially since it is such a strong desire from within to have a united and close family. Could it be that the Light "blinds" them and causes them to run which in return leaves me feeling rejected? I have my theories, but I won't bore you with them.

I could go on and on...but I won't; I'm almost through!

We, as Christians, often come across as if we did something different than non-believers-- that's why we have Jesus. No, we didn't. We are just as sinful as they are. God just so happened to choose us from the foundations of the world, called us out of darkness into His marvelous light. For that, you should get on your knee's before the King of Kings and Lord of Lord's and say thank you. Furthermore, honor Him with your life!

The point of this blog was not to sway your theological mindset but to cause you to humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. To get yourself out of the equation and realize that it is God who calls us, we don't do the calling. When we live in sin, God is the farthest from our mind, informing me that I have no idea what the "heavenly hotline number" really is. At the end of the day, Matthew 7 teaches us that many will say "Lord Lord" claiming to "know" God. But the real question is, not whether or not you know God, but if God knows you?


I hope this has challenged you and caused you to see salvation from a different theological stand point.

I'll leave you with this.
Reflect back on your life. Examine the days you lived like a "wild & crazy" person (literally) and think about the mess you were in. Did it ever cross your mind, when you were in the midst of the world, to wake up one morning and say, "I need Jesus?" Chances are probably not.


By Grace Alone,
~Jenni~

P.S. My husband and I are now "Reformed-Charismatics". In other words, we have the best of both worlds-- we've got the Spirit and The Truth... :)

"Dare to be YOURSELF"

Every one of us shall give an account of himself to God.

Romans 14:12

Boldness is required if you're ever to be led by God! Why? Because He may direct you to do things that others don't understand or agree with. Insecure people tend to feel safer doing what others do. They're fearful of breaking the mold or standing alone. Anytime you step outside the boundaries of what others think is wise or proper, you risk rejection. But you mustn't allow that to keep you from fulfilling your God-given purpose.

Confronting criticism becomes a little easier when you remember that ultimately "every one of us shall give an account of himself to God." Sure it hurts to be criticized, but if you're to succeed at anything you must have the same attitude Paul had. Listen: "I am not the least concerned with the fact that you are deciding what is right and what is wrong with me...Neither you nor anyone else can put me down unless I first put myself down (and I'm not doing that)...though I don't know of anything against me, my ignorance doesn't mean that I am correct in my appraisal, because the final evaluation is in God's hands" (1 Co 4:3-4 Ben Campbell-Johnston para).

Secure people can handle being the only ones doing something. They can also allow others that same choice, because they know we have been called to accept one another-not analyze and categorize one another! Please don't grow old and feel like somewhere along the way you lost yourself, and never succeeded at being who God called you to be.

I have never had a problem with being bold. I've never had an issue with "standing out" because quite frankly, I do. I was born with a birth defect that could have hindered me in unbelievable ways (and in some cases did growing up), but instead I chose to stand out 1) because I love Jesus and 2) I have no problem witnessing to others about Him. Many of you are "perfect" in the physical sense, but when it comes to Jesus you hide behind a rock. Why? I often wonder why our country is in the mess it's in and why Christians think they have to ask permission to allow prayer amongst a gathering of unbelievers because we don't want to offend anyone. If I remember correctly, this country-the United States of America, was founded on Christian principles and beliefs. Don't ask permission.

It blows my mind to think that we (Christians) aren't operating under the power of the Holy Spirit. It makes me sad to think that there are many churches (Christian) in our nation that fail to emphasize the indwelling and power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is who gives us power, yet we deny his operable presence in our lives. Many people often criticize the Charismatic "movement" or the Pentecostal church because it operates under the power and unction of the Holy Spirit. People typically say, "they're too emotional..." Be careful about judging one of God's children. Can I be honest for a minute? Thanks. I see God moving more in churches where the Holy Spirit is welcomed then those who deny or fail to talk about the power of the Holy Spirit. Now, don't get me wrong, He is there but that's it. There is no power being released...captives are not being set free, the sick are not being healed (Yep, I said it HEALED-God still heals today!) Demonic oppression still rest among the weary (Yep, I said it demons...)

Coming from a Charismatic Church I have seen a lot. It was all good, of course. But I have also been on the other side where I have been "trapped" in certain denominations where you don't dare mention the Holy Spirit, raise your hand during worship, speak in tongues (Yep, I said it...it did not cease at Pentecost people!) etc...

Men who walked with Jesus didn't care about what others thought and because of it many suffered brutally. Is that it...are we afraid to "suffer" for the name of Jesus? Ummm.....Matthew 16: 24-25 (Jesus was speaking here) "If anyone of you would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25) For whoever loses his life for me will find it."

I'll just let you ponder the above. Enough said.

We live in a free country, yet when it comes to Christianity, as a whole, we live "behind bars." I don't know about you, but I don't want to be that type of Christian. Do you realize that one day we will give an account to God of what we did with our resources and talents here on Earth? I don't want God to look at me and say, "you have failed to walk out the Great Commission."

You might ask, "well I just can't do that." Yes, you can it is a choice. Choose this day whom you will serve....***Please don't think that all of this has anything to do with your salvation because it doesn't. There is just more to it than being saved and "barely" getting into heaven. God wants to use us to bring honor and glory to His name. He wants to use us to bring change but that can't happen if we are paraylzed in fear. There are tons of people who need to hear THE TRUTH. When will we step out and be RADICAL for Jesus?

Radical Islam is growing at an enormous rate...it's scary! The reason being, they aren't ashamed to ACT on what they believe.

I will close with this. Why in our own faith (Christianity) are we so divided? God never intended for their to be religion. He wanted FREEDOM! So why have we divided Him?

In Him,

~Jenni~

"Challenged to Change"

Well, it has been over 2 months since I have posted a blog...I have written (1) but as you can see it didn't get "published."

Have you ever been so paralyzed with fear that you withhold speaking or writing your thoughts? Typically, I consider myself to be a very strong, bold & courageous person. But lately, my spirit has been weakened. Why? Well, because I have chosen to allow the Devil to use the words of others to penetrate to my soul. Therefore, I have taken a step back from writing anything that the Lord has impressed upon my heart to write.
But, the other day I was doing a devotion and came across this statement, "when you live for other people's approval, you risk forfeiting God's!"
I have had some pretty hurtful things said about me over the last several months by people who love me. And honestly, when I think about love, I think about this, "kind words, caring heart, gentle spirit, goodness, mercy, grace etc..."

I have asked the Lord to help me maintain my composure when I am in the presence of those who have spoken ill of me but recently, I messed up.
I really did not give this person the time of day and I'll admit it. I even apologized to this person because the truth is that's not who I want to be. I want to get to the place where I can love on that person(s) and even when I am struggling with what they have said about me. My husband, bless his heart, is a true example of this. He was deeply hurt by the actions of someone who loves him as well. When my husband told me the situation, I was boiling inside. I wanted to call that person and chew them out up and down, left to right. You feel me? My husband, in a nutshell, basically agreed that the person had obviously "made their way known and that's ok... to lash out at them would be exactly what the Devil wants and I refuse to go there." My husband can tell you that he has not ever been much of a defender. Well, before Jesus he was a fighter, but now he just "takes it." I'm not there yet, but I know with a godly husband whose strengths are my weaknesses; I will get there soon!

God is the one who heals our hearts, not man. The Lord really spoke to my heart and said, "True forgiveness comes when you can look that person in the face and say I forgive you even if they deny all they said about you and fail to apologize. My daughter that is true forgiveness!" I was like WHOA! Typically, when God speaks, I listen and act. Because there is no greater feeling than to be obedient and at the center of God's will. The image He showed me was of Jesus hanging on that cross: beaten, bruised, and tormented all for me and you. Folks, this was before we even existed! WOW. So if that sort of radical forgiveness is what provides us eternal life, should we not also do our best to embody forgiveness in our own lives?

Let me just say how good God is...Trey and I were given a devotion to do together entitled Nightlight; it was a wedding present. We have really enjoyed diving into it and a lot of good has come of it. Well, the week we were dealing with some outside issues about forgiveness and how it was affecting our marriage, we were on "How Do We Forgive?" Now, granted this is a book solely about the husband and wife, but there were critical points in it that we applied to others in our lives as well. So, it was God's way of showing Trey and I both, that we need to forgive those who have wronged us no matter what they fail to say in return.The forgiveness began with Trey and I first, and through a restored passion and renewal for our call of ministry and purpose together, we will now be able to forgive those around us as well.
It was awesome! It is so encouraging to know that God sees it all. To know that He is the final judge is good enough for me. I can rest knowing that I have released forgiveness to those who have wronged me. My next step, to face those who have wronged me and to let them know I forgive them! I get excited just thinking about it. You know you have climbed up another rung on the ladder of maturity in Him when you can say I am excited to forgive!!!! It's my heart's desire to please the Lord, and if that means dying to the flesh, then I will be glad to do it. I just don't want to stand in front of God one day with unforgiveness in my heart towards someone else. If we expect forgiveness from God then we ourselves have to be willing to forgive others.

My challenge to you would be this, your love for the Lord should empower you to release forgiveness to those who have wronged you and to seek forgiveness from those you have wronged!
Try it. Don't block God's blessing in your life because you are too stubborn to forgive!

Until next time....(hopefully, not 2 months from now!) ;)

~Jenni~